The part I didn't tell my mother

Before i continue the saga, i need to clarify two things. First, i forget to capitalize many words, including "i." it bothers me when other people forget but i type quickly without thinking so i don't do it. However, for the sake of looking good, I will try. See? I did it.

Sencondly, there is a reason I woke up covered in drool on my trans-Pacific flight. Before my flight i realized that due to my short attention span and spastic brain, i would go even more crazy if I was conscious during the entire 12 hour flight. I brought reading and writing material and my iPod but sitting in one spot for a whole day would kill me. So I did what any logical 23-year-old would do: I got drunk. After my last American meal for 3 months (sushi for gawdsakes!!) i hit the Seattle airport bar. I started with a glass of merlot. It was pretty good but oh so strong. Like cough syrup strong. But i was on a mission: operation sleepy time-travel. So i wrote a bit and had another glass and wrote some more. By this time i was feeling pretty tipsy. And what does any self-respecting 23-year-old do in this situation? He has another glass. I was so full and i drank the last glass so fast, i thought i would barf. Yikes! and then i had to get on an airplane! But as my close friends know, i'm a champion so i kept it on the DL. I carefully walked, or rather GLIDED to my gate. I walked up to the counter to show my boarding pass and the Korean girl said, as if she had been panicking, "Are you Cody Kirkland?? We have been looking for you!! You must Check in as soon as you arrive at the terminal!" Oh shit, i almost missed my flight. Thanks Mr. Merlot. So i glided (i definitely didn't stagger) through the weird plane-tube thing and found my seat. There was an Asian kid about my age in the window seat on my row and when i sat down i began a very enthusiastic conversation with him. "Hey what's up?? What's yer name?? Where ya from??" He said his name was some Chinese name and he was from Bejiing. I'm sure i mad an ass of myself but i don't remember any more conversation. For some reason about a half hour after takeoff we were served a meal. I was still stuffed but of course i can't refuse my Vegetarian Meal. I ate what i could and accepted the offer of wine with my meal. Ha! Then i started listening to music and woke up in a drool bath. Just another chapter in the Tales of Kid Drunkadelic...

There is much more to tell on this subject but i'll wait 'til another time. Seacrest Out!